r had virtually been robbed of?
WRAG. Precisely so.
CAPT. K. When, on one occasion, during her absence to visit her sister in London, her husband fell again into the hands of his old housekeeper, who induced him to revoke the will which he had made entirely in her favor, and leave everything at his death to his cousin, Mr. George Bartram.
WAG. Exactly so again.
CAPT. K Shortly after which he died, and Mrs. Vanstone found herself reduced to utter destitution.
WRAG. Such was the wind up, sir, of this most melancholy story.
CAPT. K. (aside). She has withheld nothing from me, then--she has told all, without reserve.
WRAG. The consequence of her misfortune being that she was led to hide herself from her friends, and taken refuge in this poor lodging, where, illness overtaking her, and her money being gone, she was actually in danger of being carried to a hospital; when, most fortunately, you happened to pass her door, and recognizing, saved her from that miserable catastrophe.
CAPT. K. Well, well!
WRAG. Prompted, of course, by the circumstance that your respective fathers were old friends and brother officers in Canada--though I must be allowed to add that the sympathy you showed-----
CAPT. K. Add nothing, sir, I beg; what I have done for Miss Vanstone has been abundantly repaid by her convalescence, and my also having the happiness of aiding in restoring her to her friends. Her sister, as you are aware, is coming here to-day to remove her to her own home.
WRAG. And, of course, you are also aware, sir, who that sister is become?
CAPT. K. No; I only know that Miss Norah Vanstone----
WRAG. Within the past few weeks has changed her name to that of Mrs. Bartram.
CAPT. K. Is it possible?
WRAG. It's the fact, sir. Mr. Bartram met her at some friend's house during the time we were all at Aldborough, and would have proposed to her at once, only that his uncle, the admiral, was then living, who wanted him to marry some one else. As soon, however, as he was his own master, he followed his own wishes, and----
CAPT. K. And her end is gained, then, after all--the wealth and right for which she struggled is now become her sister's.
WRAG. Her sister's, if not her own.
CAPT. K. (aside). She will be rich herself, then--will have a home and friends, and I must make up my mind to say farewell to her forever.
MRS. WRAGGE enters, L. D. MRS. W. Oh, if you please, Captain Kirke----
WRAG. Stand straight
MRS. W. Yes, dear.
WRAG. Shoe down again.
MRS. W. Yes, dear. If you please, sir, Mrs. Vanstone is very sorry to keep you waiting, but will see you in a minute.
CAPT. K. Tell her I beg she will not hurry herself. Now I remember I've a call to make close by, and will be back in half an hour. (aside) Yes, a turn in the open air will give me courage for this parting.
[Exit, D. in F.
MAGDALEN enters, L. D. MAG. Is he gone?
WRAG. Only for a moment, my dear child; a little engagement to attend to, and will be back again directly.
MAG. (takes chair by table, R.--aside). He will return, of course; he would never depart without seeing me.
WRAG. And now, my dear child, let your old friend tell you how delighted he is to see you so far restored to health. I am really delighted, honestly delighted, to see you again, and getting well. Ah, I have often thought of you, have often missed you, have often said to myself--well, no matter what--clear the stage and drop the curtain on the past. You are beginning to look yourself again, and I--be equally candid--tell me if I do not look the very picture of a prosperous man?
MAG. You do, indeed.
WRAG. And the reason--you're naturally anxious to know it--you're a woman and a friend. My dear girl, since we've parted, I've slightly modified my pursuits. I've shifted from moral agriculture to medical. Formerly I preyed on public sympathy, now I prey on the public stomach. Incredible as it may appear, I am at last a man with an income; the founders of my fortune are three in number--their names are aloes, scammony and gamboge. In plainer words, I am now living on a pill.
MAG. A pill?
WRAG. A pill. I made a little money by my friendly connection with you. I made a little more by the death of Mrs. Wragge's aunt. Sit straight, madam, I desire you. I invested all my money in advertisements, getting my drugs and boxes on credit, and the result is, here I am, a grand financial fact, with a balance at my banker's, a servant in livery, and a gig--solvent, flourishing, popular, and all upon a pill.
MAG. I can't say you surprise me.
WRAG. No, no. I merely sustain my character; advertisement is the thing, my child, advertisement is the thing. There is not a form of appeal possible which I am not making to the world at this moment. Hire the last new novel, there I am inside the boards of the book. Send for the last new song, open the leaves, and I drop out of it. Take a 'bus, I fly into the windows in red. Buy a box of tooth powder, I wrap it up for you in blue. Seat yourself at the theatre, I flutter down on you in yellow. Let me quote a few of my titles from my last week's issue. Proverbial title: A pill in time saves nine. Familiar title: Excuse me, how's your poor stomach? Patriotic title: What are the three characteristics of an Englishman? His hearth, his home, his pill.
MAG. And all this, you say, succeeds?
WRAG. Succeeds! Look at my shop--an advertisement itself. Behind one counter are four-and-twenty young men in white aprons, making up the pill; behind another are four-and-twenty in white cravats, making up the boxes; at the bottom are three elderly accountants, posting my financial transactions; over the door are my name and portrait in colossal proportions, with my motto: "Down with the Doctors." Mrs. Wragge contributes her quota to this prodigious enterprise of mine.
MAG. Mrs. Wragge?
MRS. W. Yes, dear, I----
WRAG. Silence, and sit straight. She is the celebrated woman whom I have cured with my extraordinary medicine of every complaint under the sun. Her picture is engraven on the wrapper with the following inscription: "Before she took the pill, you might have blown her away with a feather; look at her now!" Such, my dear child, is the history of my connection with British medicine--such the cause of my rise to fortune and popularity--and also the happy reason of my being conducted to your door.