No Thoroughfare (Play)

Wilkie Collins and Charles Dickens


No Thoroughfare (Play) Page 19

Would she have written that if she hadn’t followed him?—and would she ever have followed him, if it hadn’t been for you?

Joey. If you come to that, Mr. Bintrey, Master George would never have been alive but for me. I came out here with Miss Margaret—and Miss Margaret saved him. The ropes were too weak to bear the men. She was lowered down—and she preserved his life.

Bintrey. Does Mr. Obenreizer happen to be mixed up in this business at all?

Joey. We found him lying in the snow by the side of the precipice, if you call that being mixed up in it.

Bintrey. Dead?

Joey. In a dead faint, sir.

Bintrey. Curious, to say the least of it. When Vendale was brought to the surface, did you remark——

Joey. I remarked all wrong, sir. I thought Master George was dead, for the reason that I couldn’t feel nothing when I put my hand on him. But my fingers was pinched with the cold, and my senses was all in a scare; and when I felt for his heart, it’s as likely as not I felt on the wrong side.

Bintrey. Yes! yes! You don’t see what I am driving at. Let us get back to Mr. Vendale. Is he well enough to travel yet?

Joey. He’s reported well enough to travel, sir, to-morrow morning.

Bintrey. And Miss Marguerite?

Joey. Miss Margaret’s ready to travel, sir, when Master George is ready to travel, not before.

Bintrey. Ay, ay! the end of their journey will be at the nearest church. It’s all plain enough so far; but I’m not so clear about the rest of it. Where is Mr. Obenreizer now?

Joey. Mr. Openrazor’s been here in the convent, sir, all the time.

Bintrey. The devil he has! In company with the other two?

Joey. No, sir, the other two are kept apart from him. The women and the men don’t get together here. As for Master George, they wouldn’t let Mr. Openrazor see him, on account of his health.

Bintrey. On account of his health, eh? Not on account of Obenreizer having been his travelling-companion, I suppose?

Joey. I understand you now, sir. My opinion of Mr. Openrazor ain’t no better than yours, but it’s all pure guess-work—there’s nothing can be brought against him. He was carried back here as helpless as his friend; and he has stopped here for his friend’s sake ever since.

Bintrey. Has Mr. Vendale said anything out of the common to you, Joey, since his recovery?

Joey. No, sir, he hasn’t.

Bintrey. Has he written any message, or sent you with any message, to Miss Marguerite?

Joey. No, sir; but, according to my opinion, he seems to have something on his mind.

Bintrey. (aside). George Vendale has something to say which can only be said to his lawyer. There’s the secret of my being sent for. (Aloud.) If Mr. Vendale wishes it, I am ready to see him at once.

Joey. I’ll go and inquire, sir. But might I make so bold as to ask you a question first? When you left London, Mr. Bintrey, how did you leave that precious woman, Miss Goldstraw?

Bintrey. How did I leave her? I didn’t leave her at all. I’ve got a surprise for you! Miss Goldstraw was most humanely anxiously about Miss Marguerite’s position in this strange place. She has come out here with me to offer her services to the young lady; and it’s my private opinion, Master Joey, that you’re at the bottom of it.

Joey. There ain’t a doubt of that, Mr. Bintrey!

Bintrey. Why, hang the fellow! he isn’t surprised! He looks as if he had expected the woman all along!

Joey. Of course I did! If I didn’t go back to her, I knowed she’d come out to me.

Bintrey. Oh, that’s your experience of women, is it?

Joey. It’s my experience of Miss Goldstraw. You couldn’t have travelled out here, sir, in company of that precious woman, without noticing that she uses beautiful language. Very good! I’ve gone a step further than that; I’ve fixed her language in my mind. What was the words she said to me the last time I saw her at Cripple Corner? The words was these: “The separation of a man and a woman is a very serious thing, and the sooner they come together again, the better for all parties.” There’s language! And what follows on it? I can’t go to Miss Goldstraw; all right! Miss Goldstraw comes to me.

Enter SALLY.

Bintrey. The gift of prophecy again, Master Joey!

Sally. Has he been prophesying that I was coming here, sir? If he has, I’ll go away again directly!

Bintrey. Allow me to offer you my arm.

Joey. I should wish to say a word, Mr. Bintrey, before you walk her off.

Bintrey. What is it?

Joey. When we get to the first Christian town, we shall end in a Christian marriage of two couples. Master George will marry Miss Margaret. Who’s a-going to marry Miss Goldstraw?

Sally. Don’t be inquisitive, Mr. Joey!

Joey. Who’s a-going to marry Miss Goldstraw?

Bintrey. You are, I am afraid.

Joey. Then why are you a-walking off with Miss Goldstraw instead of me?

Sally. Wait a little, Mr. Joey, and you’ll be walking off with me for the rest of your life!

Bintrey. You’re not to monopolise your wife before she is your wife. It’s quite bad enough to monopolise a nice woman afterwards.

Sally. And what’s more, Mr. Joey, you’re to remember this. A man had better not give a woman the chance, or it may end in her leaving him at the church door.

Joey. Thank you, Miss, I’m quite satisfied. Do you hear that, Mr. Bintrey? There’s language! Fix it in your mind after me—and walk in the same all the days of your life. (Trying to repeat the words.) “A woman had better not give a man the chance, or it may end in his leaving her at the church door.” Lord, how true!

Obenreizer. (speaking outside). In this room, father? All right!

Joey. Here’s Mr. Openrazor to speak for himself. (Enter the FIRST MONK and OBENREIZER. The MONK carries a large book. OBENREIZER carries a heavy bag of money, which he places on the table. JOEY conducts SALLY to the exit in the flat.) There! there! go to Miss Margaret. (SALLY goes out. JOEY remains. BINTREY addresses OBENREIZER.)

Bintrey. What! Mr. Obenreizer turned treasurer!

Obenreizer. Charmed to see you again. I heard you were here, Mr. Bintrey. So glad. Have you come to see Vendale? Make your mind easy about your friend. He will soon be as good a man as ever. You are here on business, no doubt?

Bintrey. (dryly). Impossible to say, until I have seen Mr. Vendale.

Obenreizer. Ah! not so easy a matter! I, his fellow-traveller, who shared his danger, have not been admitted to see him yet.

Monk (to OBENREIZER). Having shared his danger, my son, you remind him of his danger. For that reason we have hesitated to let you see him first.

Wilkie Collins

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